can this be it? motivation? lifeblood? amazing. so that's what it feels like.

after another b-day we've rounded the bend into this sunlit promenade space of funsters fun.
posted by Sanjay at 12:24 PM [edit]

oh burt b. is so slick. but i love his music.

i'm in a pensive but good mood right now. i watched the turkey lurkey on youtube. amazing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EktVzsYjMJk
so let's revisit promises, promises:
--------
What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, he'll never phone ya
I'll never fall in love again
Dontcha know that I'll never fall in love again?

Don't tell me what it's all about
'cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So far at least until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love a- gain
No, no, I'll never fall in love again

What do you get when you give your heart?
You get it all broken up and battered.
Thats what you get: a heart that's shattered.
I'll nver fall in love again.

Don't tell me what it's all about
'cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you...
-------------

i told you i wouldn't wait forever, my dear lord of incommensurate gestures.

cuz these songs are good and all, but better when nostalgic.

i think i'm worth something big. something big and commensurate to...me.
posted by Sanjay at 3:14 PM [edit]

...looks like the real thing
...tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run

It wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out

If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted

All the time...
posted by Sanjay at 10:32 AM [edit]

i just had a 1 hour long conversation about serial killers.

serial killers totally scare me. especially ones like ted bundy.

ted bundy was so...flat. affectless.

you know, he would grow a 'stache or cut his hair so he was incognito.

that's creepy. he was this flat white guy--the universal, and a 'stache would make him incogs.

creepy. i said to my friend, "the scary thing about ted bundy is that he's just one miniscule bit away from the rest of the world--he maps so perfectly on to racism, etc."

the killing is all he did that was off. and...real off.

did you know the police in wisc. took one of dahmer's victims back to him? the guy came running out bleeding and upset, was found by some colored girls who then went to the police. when the police confronted dahmer about it, he said they were boyfriends and had a spat. so...the police gave the guy to jeff dahmer.

he didn't survive the second time.

why would the police believe a gay person of color? why would they believe ghetto colored girls?

right?

and do you know what happened to those police officers? well...you should read it if you want to know what the world can really be like.

my friend described it by saying that the entire world would be like Ted Bundy "If they could be bothered to indulge in their indifference."

and it isn't pretty.

the interesting thing about serial killers is how readily they work within structures already present in society. that's the scary thing...
posted by Sanjay at 6:28 PM [edit]

...jerry...

was that even a good movie? it had me at hello?

i don't know.

pretty good. we can do as well. or better.
posted by Sanjay at 1:40 AM [edit]

in four days it'll be thirteen months since jamie died.

and in those thirteen months i guess i've said many goodbyes.

but hey, the spice girls are reuniting, right?

that's pretty cool.
posted by Sanjay at 9:20 PM [edit]

oh you are my best best friend. and it goes without saying.

how funny it is that we never say it to outsiders. so not kosher.

weakest of all salts.
posted by Sanjay at 1:54 PM [edit]